Death to the Birthday Bear or just a message?

Ok so to tell this story correctly you have to know a few things. First, I (very rarely) spank my kids with a belt. No i do not beat my kids, or leave marks or make them run screaming in horror whenever i walk in to the room... but i do spank my children. Enough said. Second, Isabella got a build a bear for her birthday and it has a sound clip thing in it. It is the most annoying thing i have ever heard. With all that said, let me explain what Noah did while i was washing dishes.
    I had the music cranked up while i scrubbed (yes by hand, no dishwasher here). Noah was running around with the bear (i dont know why but he loves it) He was right next to me but i was still washing and didnt look down immediately... What i knew he was safe. I put my dish in the strainer and looked down. I expected to see Noah sitting on the floor playing nicely with the stuffed bear... Wow, now that i say that out loud, it sounds ridiculous. Anyways, thats what i was thinking.... NOT what i saw. Noah had the my belt wrapped around the bears neck and hanging from the kitchen drawer. He had brutally murdered the bear. At first i kinda giggled and thought that i would never have to hear that annoying song again, then i realized it was a stuffed animal not a real one and she will live to see another day :( Then i thought about it... was that a message to me about my belt and those were his pent up aggressions for the belt all being exposed the only way he knew how??? All i could hear in my head was Bill Engvall saying "Heres your sign!" I wish there was more but honestly i just cleaned it up and told Noah that it wasnt nice. Either way, it was kinda funny! Have a great day everyone.

Back Home!

Well I am sorry that it has been awhile since i last posted something but the family and I went to Texas. Yes, Texas! My husband is from Dallas so we travel there every year. We got to do so much this time with the kids being older and all. It was an amazing trip. This visit also happened to fall on Isabella's 7th birthday. We got to go to the Texas State Fair, and rode the ferris wheel. It was really amazing, even Noah got to ride some rides. He isnt really supposed to ride any rides cause they jostle the brain, but he is three and still likes the lil kiddie rides and they just kinda go round and round. I got hundreds of photos that i promise to post. Also, they got to see "Big Tex", a 52 ft (fake) man that watches over the whole fair. Aiden got to go fishing and caught his first fishie. He also got to shoot his BB gun for the first time and actually hit the target (not the middle, just the paper). Isabella got to go to Build A Bear, and make her pink birthday bear. Jeffrey let her put a sound bite thing in it and now i want to amputate the lil bears hand off (thats where the button is). She picked out the most annoying birthday song known to man and pushes the button CONSTANTLY! We ate at all out favorite places. My lil sister Dakota got to go with us. Grandpa Johnny gave her driving lessons and took her out to shoot the rifle. She is a natural bad-ass! She shout four times and hit the bullseye every time. Pretty freaking cool if ya ask me. We feed the Llamas at Grandpa Mikes farm, and they made me get IN the llamas fenced is part (i dont know what else to call it) to take some pictures of the kids feeding them from the llamas point of view. Damn that was scary and of course my Father In Law, David, was NOT HELPING! "Tiffany, they are coming to get you, they are vicious... Here they come..." But thats ok, cause i got a nice photo of him holding my purse :)
        OMG, i almost forgot! We got to go to Strokers, that bar in Dallas thats on the TV. Its from that show "Ma's Roadhouse" on TRU TV. Let me explain, I LOVE that lil ole' lady. She reminds me of my own dear Nana, and Aunt Cindy. I grew up in a biker family and my Nana, Aunt Cindy, and my Mother all ran a bar called "The Black Rose". The "Ma" from the TV is JUST LIKE THEM. So i instantly fell in love with her, and it was at a bar, so i HAD to go! ;) I got a patch for my vest, and a kick ass shot glass. Hell yea, it was awesome.
       The whole trip was just amazing really.  I had a freaking kick ass time with my family. I am proud that i get to take my kids all around and show them "the sights". We travel alot and i have "Road Kids" LOL thats what i call kids that are used to traveling in a vehicle for hours at a time. We have been driving all over the USA for years and when we had babies, we just brought them with us, no need to change plans. I love it. I am creating memories with them that not only I will have, but they will have and pass on to their kids. Well enough of me rambling on... I just wanted to tell yall that we had a blast in Texas and I will be posting some photos later. Ciao for now!

Noah scans his cat!

This morning we had an appointment for Noah. He needed a new CT Scan. We get them every 3 to 6 months since he was born so he is really pretty used to them now, so we do not get sedated. The problem is that the people working the ct scan dont know this and ALWAYS tell me that he will have to be sedated. They never want to listen to me tell them that he has had Hydrocephalus since birth and is very familiar with the procedures. I have to fight with them and tell them to just "try" before they realize "Wow, he was really good!"  NO SHIT! Thats what i have been trying to tell you. Today, we went and he layed down on the bed, table, thingie and just smiled the whole time. I was so proud of my lil man.He is the bravest lil guys i know. Thats not even the best part either, We were in and out in one hour. Oh yea!!! 

Hoops not Poops!

So the kids have been doing really well with school, but when i picked them up from school today I got concerned. As always, I asked how their day was and yelled at them to take turns telling me, Aiden first. So Aiden says "Oh Mom, it was great. We went outside, played games and MOM, i MADE THREE POOPS!" Ummm.... Did i hear that right, What did you say Aiden? "We we playin out side and Mason made  two poops and i made three mom. THREE!" He is obviously really proud of his... poops. So I start to get a lil nervous. "Yea, i threw the ball in to the poops mom, it was AWESOME!" Oh please dear God, do not let my son be that kid. Tell me its not true, that he is NOT pooping outside at school, on the play ground..or bushes, or oh no, where the hell did he do it at? "Aiden honey, where did you make your poops?" I asked is the sweetest please-dont-lie voice. Now, he looks at me like i am an idiot. "On the court mom, you know, with the basketball..." OHHHHHHHHHH   now I get it, its not "poops" its "hoops" LOL wow, i feel like an idiot now. WHEW! So i explaned to him that he was saying it wrong and the thought that was really funny. Damn, kids say the funniest things sometimes i swear.

Bella's listening problem

Sorry I haven't posted anything new, i have been REALLY busy lately. So heres whats been going on. On Monday i reminded my Isabella that I WILL be picking her up from school on the kindergarten side, just like i do EVERYDAY. "If you dont see me, that means that i am at the back of the car line, I will never leave you" I make sure that she understands (or so i thought) and dropped her off at school. Later that day, I went to pick her and Aiden up. Aiden saw me first and got in the van right away. So we waited for Isabella....and waited.... got the front of the line and waited.... and finally parked cause we were still waiting, need less to say i am getting nervous at this point. THEN FINALLY the lil shit comes strolling out with a face that could only be read as "OHHH THERE you are..." She gets in the van and proceeds to tell me that she didnt see me so she went to the other side of the school. Then she came back. What about out conversation from this morning, she forgot!!!! I was really upset. So the NEXT day, i grabbed her by her cute puffy cheeks and looked her dead in the eye and told her that I WILL BE ON THE KINDERGARTEN SIDE, YOU HAD BETTER BE THERE! The day goes on and now its time to pick them up. I park right aways and Noah I walk up and the whole time i am thinking. Now she HAS to see me. I am STANDING here at the door. There is no way she can miss me. So as always, Aiden is first. Then we wait for Isabella. Honestly i think i waited for like half an hour. Now, this part is kinda irrelevant to Isabellas story but too funny for me not to add.... You know as parents, we always check out the parents of the other kids at the school when were waiting.... DONT LIE<,I KNOW I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE. But this is unbelievable. I was there with the boys and i look up, and this man is standing there. He has on two shirts, layered how guys do ya know... The undershirt is longer then the top shirt ( do they call it a top shirt) and i am behind him. At first i thought nothing of this, but then it stuck out like a sore thumb on the bottom of his nice undershirt was what i can ONLY describe as.... poo..... Yes i know gross right? It looked like he hadnt wiped his ass and tucked his shirt in REALLY FAR and it popped out... meaning right in the middle of the bottom of his shirt was crap... dried on ... I stood there shocked for a min and quickly moved to another spot before Noah or Aiden said something like "MOMMY, THAT GUY HAS POOP ON HIS SHIRT" (cause they totally would) Ok, so back to bella... I am waiting still and then my phone rings. Its the school.... My daughter is in the office... she did want to bother running back and forth at school trying to figure out where mommy was so she thought she would just call... Sometimes she is really smart, but sooo dumb... I was like "I AM OUTSIDE WHERE I SAID I WOULD BE" Now all the other parents are looking at me... Bella comes out and I rush them to the van. As embarrassed as i was, at least there wasnt poop on my shirt LOL

My first post

Yes, I know that the title is not very exciting, but I really didn't know what to call it. The reason I started this blog is because i started a book but found that i have like NO time to write it. My friends are always telling me that i need to write a book about all the random, crazy, and just plain funny things that my kids put me through. Since i am on the computer all the time anyway, why not blog about it instead of the book. Its still just as funny, just in real time.

I want you all to know that I truly adore my children, I do, but I honestly think that they are here to annihilate my life. I hope that by posting about my misery, disappointments, and the rare happy surprises, someone will get a good laugh out of it.

Also, I do NOT always use the correct punctuation, capitalize my "I"s, and i am famous for "..." so please do not correct me. I am very well aware of my own idiocies. Thank you, and Enjoy!